Life...is a strange thing. We, as a society, accept so much for normal; such strange rituals, such strange behaviors, friendships, rivalries, opinions, relationships. Ah, relationships...ah, relationships.
I'm going to dare to be different with this one, folks. I'm not speaking to you, parents, and teens, I am not addressing you as a general public. Boys...I'm calling you out.
I'm particularly talking to those of you who are in a relationship, or are looking for a relationship. I know there are plenty of guys out there who don't care for such a thing. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with going from girl to girl, the 'player', most likely a self appointed name. It seems like a fun lifestyle, but I'm talking to you other fellows, so listen up.
I'm going on an eleven month relationship with the most amazing girl a guy could find; eleven happy months, but sure, we've had our ups and downs. What kind of relationship doesn't? No relationship. That's what kind. If you've found someone, you know what I'm talking about, or you soon will. If you're still looking for that special girl that will make you happy, allow me to let you know what you're in for.
Two people spending so much time together, sharing with each other, growing close to each other - no matter how happy you may make each other - such a situation is inevitably going to lead to butting heads, to conflict in opinions, views, decisions. There is no pair anywhere that does not have at least minor conflicts. Hell, I've seen what high school relationships are like. "Oh, I'm mad at you because you did not say hi when we passed in the hallway!"..."Oh yeah? Well I'm mad at you because you had a girl's night with your friends last Saturday and never answered my text."...yeah, ok. Is that going to be the end of the relationship? I've learned in the past eleven months that when things get tough, its so, so easy to lose track of what matters, but if you bear in mind that, hey, this person with whom you're arguing makes you happy, they like you back - maybe love you? You've got to enjoy the little things in a relationship, and remember them. Dont ruin something good because of something stupid.
Guys, news flash. Girls are different than you are. They think differnetly, they feel differently, they respond differently, they cope differently...some guys will say they're weird, some may say crazy, some may say confusing...i prefer to simply say different. Now, I'm no relatioship expert, and the only advice I can give is based off what I've experienced, but hey, something is better than nothing. Hm, where was I...ah yes. Hormones, tears, irrational worries and doubts...girls have em all. Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. No sir. It's just comes with the package. If you are anything like me, or any of the guys I've met, you will raise your eye brows, you will laugh, yopu will wonder 'what the hell is she getting so worked up about?!'...but hey, be patient. They cant change how they're feeling or what hormones are going through their body. It wasnt their decision, but like I said: be patient, be the one she wants to hug when they're upset...and only roll your eyes when she's not looking. They'll be there for you when you need it someday.
Ok, everything up till this point has been rather general, but that's because this one paragraph was pretty much everything I've been meaning to get to. It's my grand finale - DON'T BE STUPID. Guys, I know exactly how many relationship issues can be avoided if the individuals would just take a moment to think about what they're doing. But seeing as you cannot force a girl to do anything, it's up to you, fella's, to think extra hard...yeah, i know how hard that can be. I'm sure you've heard people say oddities such as 'girls like bad boys', or 'no one will like you if you're a wussy little momma's boy.' Psh, perhaps those things are true for some girls, but believe me, girls really, really do appreciate the genuine, old fashioned nice guy. Don't worry about looking like a wuss in front of yer guy friends. Hey, my friends make fun of me literally ALL the time. I dont care, though, because the reason I'm doing what I do is more important than the immature harassment I take for it. If you appreciate your girlfriend, you better show it. You treat her like a princess. Open her door for her, pull out her chair, tell her she's pretty - and for god's sake, mean it! - get her little gifts to show you care. Trust me, she'll find ways to show you shes grateful. And dont get pushy! No girl will like that. Dont pressure her, dont force her to do what she doesnt want to. That's a good way to have a very messy relationship on your hands, or no relationship at all. Listen to her. When she has a problem, be there for her. Tell her everything is going to be alright. And try to be considerate, please. She has feelings, and I'm gunna guess they are feelings a little moe complex than 'hm, I'm feeling hungry.' Ask her how her day went, and genuinely care about the answer. If you dont care, its all a moot point anyway. Honestly, this stuff may sound cheesy and old fashioned and pointless. But hey, ask any girl; nice guys are a dying breed, and the rare occurrence will really surprise a girl. Surprise her in a good way! And, you know what? Try something different. Just be her friend once in a while.
Hm...I'd go on if I weren't out of breath, but oh my, oh my. I havent even scratched the surface, boys. Just bear in mind, do these things, make her happy, stick with her, and perhaps you'll find out just how rewarding a real relationship can be. I'm the prime example. Hopefully a few of you out there know what I'm talking about, and hopefully the rest of you will someday experience it, because it really does open you're eyes. Hey, I'm not afraid to say it - I love my girlfriend, and life is good :)
For all of you out there, finding the girl is half the struggle...keeping her is the other half, and I'm sure experienced diplomats could debate for hours on which is more...'fun and exciting'...but believe me, it'll be worth it in the end.
So, perhaps the only helpful words one may ever hear...good luck!