Friday, August 28, 2009

"Remember, You're Not Allowed to Date Until You're Married."

Oh no. She's met someone. And instead of just fawning from afar wishing he'd notice her, he has noticed her. And he's invited her to see a movie Friday night. Panic alert! Panic alert! What do you do!? Lock her in her room, throw away the key, put bars on her window!! Uhm. No. Deep breath. Put down the padlock. Take a seat. Let's be rational.

A first date is a big deal-for you and for her. Everyone wants their first date, first kiss, first boyfriend to be nothing but picture perfect. Unfortunately this isn't always the case. But. There's a few things you can do to make everything go a little smoother and put her at ease.

Before saying she's not allowed to go, let's think about some things and ask some questions.
  • Do you know the boy? What kind of a reputation does he have? Does he get in trouble a lot?
  • Where will they be going? When will they be getting back? How will they be getting there?
  • What happens if the date goes bad? Does she know what to do if she needs to find another way home?
It's always important to have an answer to these questions. And to make sure your daughter is safe and comfortable in any situation. Becoming more independent is a rite of passage, but it's still acceptable to want to know where your daughter will be and how she can get home if she's not safe.

So. She's going on the date. There's always a few things we wish our parents would or wouldn't do. Here are a few tips. Keep in mind that these are only tips and should only be followed where the situation is appropriate.
  • Stay calm and collected
  • Give your honest opinion about which outfit you like better
  • Offer to help when the curling iron gets stuck in her hair and she panics
  • Remind her to have fun and that everything will be ok
  • Leave the light on for when she comes home
  • Sit in the living room "cleaning the guns"
  • Spy on them when she gets dropped back off
  • Get out the baby book
  • Be in the way when he rings the doorbell (Try sitting in the kitchen and just eavesdropping instead)
  • Grill her about the date when she gets home (Wait until tomorrow and just imply you'd like to hear about it)
Remember. In any situation, you must remain calm, collected, reasonable, and loving. If you feel that your son or daughter is in serious danger, talk to them, find out what is happening and do your best to keep them safe. This isn't an excuse to keep them under lock and key, however. You have to trust that you've brought them up well and that they can be responsible for their own well being. Smile! Someone has found your daughter captivating. :)


1 comment:

  1. I don't have any teenaged children yet and my children are both boys but I loved your post. Friendly but firm!